Grad Students: Boasting about being in grad school is the biggest predictor you will never graduate

If the hashtag for gross incompetence were a group home, grad students squatting on WordPress, instead of doing actual work, would occupy it, 100% of the time.

There is nothing special about getting into or being in graduate school. So, why are you bragging about going into debt to bring revenue to a university? Because you’re not very smart.

Even if you don’t graduate, it doesn’t diminish your school’s ranking. Many elite schools pre-graduate PhD candidates who haven’t completed their theses. They also recommend them for assistant professorships at other universities as a way of saving face. Keep talking about your shiny new Master’s/PhD that does not heal the world.

Other points: If you’re five years into your Master’s, stop. You’re not going to finish. If five years have passed and your dissertation is not being examined right now, go rob a bank and pay back our loan – you have flamed out. If your dissertation is being examined and your degree hasn’t yet been conferred, don’t call yourself “doctor” on your blog.

Cue the excuses and defensive statements.

In conclusion: Grad school squatters are never going to graduate because they’re mediocre, not very diligent, and are focused on the prestige of the degree than they are on the mountains of bills they’ll never be able to pay after they drop out without finishing.

Remember, grad school debt doesn’t go away just because you were too tired and unmotivated, or whatever to finish. Okay?