I love men, but … why do I need to be in relationships with them?

Naturally, I don’t need to buy a book to learn that I am, in fact, a bitch. The evidence is here on my blog. But I will discuss my thoughts after I read, “Why men marry bitches” by Sherry Argov. This book is trying to sell me on the idea that I should train myself to become wife material.

On the contrary, Argov’s hidden message is that men are chimpanzees who won’t pay attention to women unless they are trained, forced or manipulated into doing so.

I love men so I was crushed to learn that they expect to be manipulated, used and mistreated by a woman who wants them. I cannot respect or trust anyone that I have to trick into doing something.

Ivana Humpalot

Why men marry bitches has useful information for women who feel that acting like a doormat is the way to make a man fall in love. I get violently ill when I hear them talking so it’s a great gift idea.

One thing this book doesn’t say clearly is that most men live in a fantasy world. These types believe they are perfect catches (even if they say otherwise). They are also incredibly confident that every woman wants some of their peen and that a meaningful glance is enough to bag Mrs Future Wife. That is why, in a nutshell, the book teaches women:

1. If you like a guy, don’t tell him (because he thinks you want him).
2. Ignore him (because he thinks you want him).
2. Act like you’re something special (because he thinks you want him).
3. Spend lots of money on clothes, skin care and makeup (because he thinks you want him and will request that you to complement his hotness).
4. Get a good job (because he thinks you want him but is too stingy to pay for dinner every time – you should pay to have sex with him, too).
5. Don’t interrupt him or speak in front of him at all (because he thinks  you want him and that means you should agree with him).
6. Don’t entertain him at home (because he thinks you want him and therefore has the right to boss you around).
7. Don’t sleep with him, or he’ll stop liking you (because he thinks you want him).

In other words, men already believe you want to shag them rotten all night long. I know a man with man boobs who wears the same polo shirt every day. He is offended when women are in front of him without flawlessly manicured nails. He is exempted from grooming, himself because he has an MBA and a PhD. Saying you like a man confirms what he already believes. When he knows for certain how you feel, you become invisible or a charity case for peen.

“Yeah, I knew she liked me. Then she shagged me. I had to give her the peen because she was so horny. Now, let’s see who else wants it.”

It’s a game of scores.

That’s why, when I want a man to ignore me, I tell him how much I love, admire and respect him. It’s guaranteed to be a turn off.

After reading this book I asked myself, “What do I need a man for?” Then I thought, if I need a fancy job, to dress up and be confident to bag a man, that effectively means (i) I spent thousands of dollars on my education and now work 12 hour days in order to qualify as a man’s temporary shag stop (ii) a man is a meat stick. However, I don’t think of men as meat sticks. I’m also offended by the implication that my accomplishments are undermined if a man’s penis does not want to point in my direction.

Argov asserts that men will even screw women they don’t like. Getting dressed up to get in bed with one seems, therefore, like a waste of money. The book is full of contradictions like these. My favourite contradiction is that if I’m getting dolled up it is for myself. In which case, a man’s approval is irrelevant. But, if I want companionship and I am going to connect with a man on an emotional level, sex is off the table. That effectively means we’re friends. So, what’s the point of having a romantic relationship if I can hang out with my guy friends?

She didn’t shag him and demanded $50 million. Now that is self confidence!

I already find dating annoying and bothersome. Now, thanks to Argov’s book, I find men repulsive (in the romantic sense only). I don’t want to kiss them or have sex with them. Why men marry bitches, has taught me that relationships are a scam because men are skittish motherfuckers who don’t respect women (i) they don’t want to shag or (ii) have already shagged.

If I want companionship, it is much easier to hire a housekeeper from overseas and apply for her work visa. So, I’m going to do that. Thanks, Sherry.

P.S. See Mariah Carey. James Packer might have to pay her $50 million for the privilege of wasting her time. I recommend that every woman behave as if their attention were worth a hefty sum. Men who are serious will get focused and the jerks will back off.